This Moment

I composed a post in my head, earlier today while folding laundry, and now that I am here in front of the computer, I can't remember what I was going to say. I am going to continue to type and in hopes it comes flooding back...

Wyeth
1~He was wandering around the house after he got home from school today, and when he found me, he said, "It sure is nice to be home." Awe...that makes a mama so happy. I want this house to always be his safe haven.
2~There are still a fair amount of tears after school (for Ella too). I know this has 100% to do with being tired and seeing mama is a relief. However, I find myself panicking about once a week, that maybe I am somehow not meeting their expectations. Or life isn't.
3~Wyeth is listening his first chapter book read by me. Daddy has read several, but we are enjoying a Hardy Boys adventure about werewolves!
4~Language exploration has been a big part of our conversations as of late. He says, "Mom, can boys my age say holy?" or "I heard a boy say the "s" word today." And the "s" word turns out to be shut-up. :)
5~He is eating like it's going out of style! Going without a morning snack has been one of the better adjustments.


Ella
1~Ella is so grown up. She has really changed in the last several weeks.
2~I am about to just give-up and decide she is a vegetarian. I can't get her to dig meat or a lot of dairy. She is a sugar head, however. I need to continue to stuff her with multi-vits and work on a consistent protein source. Eggs worked for so long, but she is kind of taking a break.
3~Swimming lessons start on Tuesday, and I know she will love it. She likes the water and if I can keep her warm it should be a hit.
4~Napping seems to be on the way out the door. She is waking around four every morning and climbing in bed with us. Sometimes she goes back to sleep, but usually she doesn't. I think that two hours in the afternoon is too much. She is sweet about not waking Fara, she i able to quietly sneak out.
5~Elizabeth is the puzzle queen. She loves them. She works a set of about five different puzzles again and again throughout the day. Her favorite are floor puzzles with about 30 pieces. I ask her to put them away when she is finished and more likely than not, they will be pulled out and worked within the hour.

Fara

1~Where to start with this little ham? She and Ella play together fairly well at this point. I have noticed this comes in phases. In the last week, I have observed them sharing several things that I would consider special to one or the other.
2~She has been expressing more interest in potty training. I think I am going to help her get serious about it. I don't think it will be long.
3~Her language and vocabulary are impressive to this mama. She speaks in sentences. My favorite word she uses is lately, ridiculous. "Mercer don't be ridiculous!" And is able to express herself LOUDLY and clearly. I love it.
4~She is so used to sleeping with someone that a handful of times, I have found her in Wyeth's bed with him. I am not sure of the motivation, but I would guess that it has something to do with Ella not being nice.
5~Fara is so excited about the going to school. She misses Ella. The other morning she told me, "I not hanging out with you, I go to school with Ella." Cute.

I have been thinking more and more about when #4 will join the team. There are several areas of life that are getting smoother as Fara gets older... better get a baby before one doesn't make sense. Nah, I will always want another baby.

Pecking order

Fara is such a little ham. She tells us all A LOT lately, "I am not a baby ANYmore!" It's so cute. Something so obnoxious, only a mother could get a kick out of.

Poor Mercer, our ten month old rat terrier, is the most aware of the Fara's need to assert her "not the baby" status. She spends a great deal of time schooling on the dog.

Tonight she said, "No no doggy, don't eat mama's hair pretty, that is ridiculous."

Listen to my "not the baby ANYmore" using such big words.

I am frustrated with how overwhelmed I feel with life and this point in time.

Marriage is hard work and parenting is hard work and keeping up with all the things a mom has to keep up with is hard work. I don't mind hard work. I don't mind working for unseen results, I love my husband and kiddos. But, boy howdy, do I get overwhelmed.

I keep coming to the table with this idea that I want to fix all these unmet expectations for myself and of myself about partnership and parenting. And just being a person in general. And try as I may, I am not fixing it and seem to be spinning my wheels. I don't know what the stepping off point would be...

Letting go of expectations and moving away from looking at things in a black/white mind-set. And letting go of the need to be pleasing and not upsetting my household. As long I am being true and kind and accountable, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It's time I start listening to my heart and feeding my soul on a regular basis.

So....sigh.

My sweet babies are sleeping, my hubby is snoring and tomorrow is a new day. A day to be the best me.

Whiney

Now I am the whiny one. I don't care if anyone dotes on me. I just want to be left alone.

I am a sickie! EEEEEEEEEEWHH!!

My babies are so good, I am always amazed by their resilience when I feel this way. They somehow sense that mama means business. How blessed that these three people were sent to me!!

Bouncing back soon!

Sickies.

Augh...(is that how you spell that? It doesn't look right.) Ugh..oh there we go, much better.

Anyhow, it's now Monday morning...a bright and sunny day that is suppose to be full of me sending my cherubs to be socialized and educated, while I spend an hour with my Lisa. It's "me" morning. I get to talk 'bout whatever I want for an hour and Lisa, nods and kindly pulls me back to reality from time to time. I love it.

But, not THIS morning. No, this morning I have a house full of sick babies. They are all coughing and whiny and generally unpleasant. And this is the tough part. The part of me that wants to nurse them back to health is broken. If I could have my way, I might just run away screaming and holding my ears. Maybe. I don't know maybe I wouldn't... but I know that my tolerance is done used up my friends.

And here is the FUNNY part (just for the sake of sanity, and so you know that I don't take myself too seriously, let's chuckle together.) When I packed up my parents car in August '94, I was headed off to college to pursues a degree in nursing...really, I was. Say it with me...WHAT WAS I THINKING!!??!! Sick people, heaven bless them, are awful. There is whining and the smell (someone could have told me about the smell.)

I didn't spend too much time on the health care path. No, I jumped off and onto the hospitality path, which I enjoy muchly. Still not sure what exactly it is that I want to be when I grow up and we are removed from fall '94 by nearly 15 years. I best stick with the mommy gig for now.

Even if my babies smell, I would walk to St. Louis from here if they needed me.

(photo from Google).

Fall Soccer

Wyeth seems to be enjoying soccer again this season. He is quite physical and we have had to remind him several times that this isn't American football. :)

Eyes...

This picture is striking to me. She looks SO much like her great-grandfather. How does that happen? Genes hide away for two generations and then BAM!
I am also struck by her eye color. They are like a mix of my mom and her Godmother Sara's. It's weird.
She doesn't really have a fivehead...must be a funny angle.

QOTD

The dry-cleaning chore has always been one of my least favorite. Really there is little reason to be so hostile about dropping a bag full of someone else's clothes off at the drive-thru dry-cleaner...
except for little fact...did you catch it? Yeah, it's not MY clothes. Why does the dry-cleaning chore fall under my umbrella? Just because I am responsible for cleaning every other thing in our lives?
Really I don't get it...
But on to the quote of the day.
We were on our way to the dry-cleaner with our weekly drop-off, when I heard Ella explaining to Fara...

"We are taking Daddy's clothes to the washer machine store."

That made me giggle. Where did she get that?

QOTD

Fara was feeling sleepy and I was snuggling a sick Ella in her bed. Fara climbed on top of my body, and started stroking my face and hair. She is very good at wedging her way into the closest spot near mama regardless of the situation. I was about to move back a bit and she went and melted my heart...

"I yuv you Mama."
"I love you too Farfar."
"You hairs is BU-FULL."
"Ah thanks baby."

She is pretty stinkin' sweet, even if she is the meanest baby I have ever been around.

What a difference four years makes...

This is a silly quiz I filled out four years ago...and again today.
25 Questions and 25 Answers about me.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Are those wrinkles...I'm only 30! ~a blemish...really? why?
2. How much cash do you have on you? A buck or two? ~none.
3. What's a word that rhymes with TEST? Best. ~Guest
4. Which planet? Pluto, 'cause you can "put it in your pocket for a rainy day. ~Earth works.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list? My friend Jill ~My friend Diana
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? Float On. ~Came on the phone- ring&vib. combo.
7. What shirt are you wearing? Black Liz Lange maternity tee ~Eggplant 3/4 sleeve t-shirt.
8. What do you label yourself? Crazy (in both good and bad ways). ~Intense.
9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing? Adidas. ~Eastland.
10. Bright or Dark Room? Bright! ~Bright.
11. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleepin'. ~Sleeping.
12. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? Jill telling me about bumping into Shauna in Denver. ~Diana asking if I was going to make it to Helena this morning?
13. Where is your nearest 7-11? No 7-11s around here, but there is a Loaf and Jug about 13 blocks from here. ~Ditto.
14. What's a saying that you say a lot? Oh, for the love of Pete. ~What the eff.
15. Who told you they loved you last? Mr. Thinkin'. ~Sara.
16. Last furry thing you touched? Furry? I don't know...MiMi has smooth fur. ~Marcer.
17. How many drugs have you done in the past three days? Do Prenatal Vitamins count? ~Paxil
18. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? Two, which is great for me. ~Don't use film anymore.
19. Favorite age you have been so far? 30? I like life now. ~?????
20. Who is your worst enemy? Yikes... if they read this then they will know?!?!!? ~Myself :(
21. What is your current desktop picture? Tulips. ~My babies!
22. What was the last thing you said to someone? Time to go to sleep. Mama loves you! (to WM).
~It's quiet time. Please stay in your room. (to WM).
23. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you choose? The bucks. ~The bucks.
24. Do you like someone? Tons for people. However, you are more likely to know if I don't like you than if I do. ~Ditto.
25. The last song you listened to? ~Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus. STOOOOOOPPPPIIDDD!