Ella the BRAVE

I just love this picture. My heart goes in 20 different directions when I look at it. Ella was SO excited to ride this ride with her big brother. She stood in line and stepped right up.
It occurred to me she wouldn't like it...but only briefly as she is my child that loves a thrill.

She was terrified by the ride. Just look at her little face and white knuckles. It hurts a mama to see that face on her baby. I wanted to dash over to the ride operator and demand that he let my girl off! Instead I hid behind the camera, and hoped she wouldn't be scared for life.

When she climbed down the metal stairs and into my arms she said, "I don't like that one." And I confirmed she never has to ride it again. And that was it, I was proud of her for giving it a shot.

QOTD

Wy-guy has a new catch phrase. It's not that cool and I kinda came down hard on him at the dinner table about it. (It was like my authority was being question by a five year old. GROSS. Me I was gross.)

Wy. Today is nap day and I didn't take one.
Me. Yes, today is Sunday and Sunday is nap day.
Wy. Oh yeah, prove it.
Me. &(^)*% (*&( (ok not really, I don't swear at my kids). But I snapped at him and it was over the top on my part.

WTH!?! I was like I don't need to prove it to you, you didn't end up having to nap today because you had a soccer game. Geesh.

Mass

Today was our first mass where we were responsible for greeting and the gifts. We rushed to church early, because although I have seen the whole process 63 billion times in my life I felt like we needed a tutorial.
The kiddos were so good. Fara would parrot. "Good Morning" every single time I said it as we were greeting. I think Wyeth enjoyed seeing his school buddies at church. When will he realize that he attends a Catholic school, and not everyone goes to church with their friends from school? And how will he feel about it? It think it's super cool.
So, Fr. Dick was able to give us a quick run-through twenty minutes or so before mass started. With the new church being so GIANT, there are six baskets total for the offertory, and we didn't know quite now that would work out. Wyeth isn't quite old enough to grasp how to keep the baskets moving. Thankfully an usher swooped in at the last minute to help us.
Of course, it's always been on of my worst nightmares to spill the bread or wine. While we were standing on display, praying our "prayer of stewardship", Fara started yelling, "I hold you mommy." I was able to do a fancy one arm swing of her to my hip without spilling a drop! Yahoo me. And I am thinking people thought she was more cute then obnoxious. At least this is what I keep telling myself.
So, all and all mass went splendidly.

Single Parenting vs. Being a Single Parent

Single parenting is about so much more than just not having an extra set of hands in the house. It's being forced to make choices for the sake of the family, alone. I am not a single parent, thank heavens! However, I do a bunch of single parenting.

This week I am coming off a four day stretch of being alone with the babes. When I can slow myself down enough, it's heaven to be the only one they count on. The one they share everything with and the one they want to snuggle with. It's difficult to appreciate those very same things when someone pukes in the night, or you don't get to go somewhere because you can't (or shouldn't) leave a sick kiddlet in the care of a sitter.

And then....there is the whole accountability factor. I am a completely different person when another adult is in the house.

Blah, blah, blah....I get trapped in my own head. Whatever.

School Stuff

The Fall Event has been sucking up a lot of time in the last several weeks. I have been a walking advertisement.

I would like to get together a table of mommy friends. The speaker will be great, and it's a great excuse for a mama's night out.

End of the Week

I am so thankful we decided to have Wyeth attend the half day program this year. He is SO tired by the end of the day and especially by the end of the week.
He seems to be having fun, but mostly I'm only hearing about recess.

I went to the Open House last night and he ran wild in the halls while the adults listened to Mr. Robbins explain some of the different facets of the school. It's a great place and we are enjoying being part of the school family.

It's date night for mommy and daddy tonight. A nice end to a busy (and short) week.

Week Six with Wava

Mr. Work and I have been workin' on things. I am so relieved to hear from an outside (unbiased) party that we have all the things it will take to heal.
The "seven-year itch" is an interesting deal. After almost living through it, I still don't know why or what makes it exist. Our stuff never had anything to do with love or faithfulness as is the suggested problem in the "Seven Year Itch" movie from the '50s. Ours seems to be more...you got what you wanted, now you need to want what you have. And let me be clear, I am not talking about Mr. Work specifically, I am more talking about a big mortgage, nice car, good job, a handful of kids and a dog. Mr. Work is a great friend to me and I have never questioned my love for him (my like of him, yes!).
I feel like by year seven all the cards are on the table so to speak. We know the good, bad, and the ugly of one another, and now it's time to remind ourselves that our lives and our marriage is a work in progress. I came into the marriage knowing that the rewards of coupling for life with someone out-weigh the hurts, if only marginally at some points. You have to willing to take the good with the bad. After all, it's right there in the vows.
Mr. Work and I, as a team, have fallen into some unhealthy communication habits, Wava has been able to help us correct the behaviors. Love that woman. I swear she is so wise.
I am working to be honest about what marriage is like, not to be negative, but honest. I truly believe what we are experiencing is just marriage. It's not a bad marriage, or one filled with unrealistic expectations. Our society gives us the idea that we always have to be "happy", and that if you are not, you need find a happy pill or divorce or make some other major change. You know, second marriages have no better success rate. And with that in mind, I keep returning to the fact, it's not my partner I have an issue with. It's more "getting along" in general. And I owe it to not only, Mr. Work, but all of man kind to "get long".
That brings me back to why and what we are doing to work on things. Life is stressful. Money or lack there of, toddlers, high pressure jobs, keeping up with the Jones (or in our case the Floyds) is all stress inducing. We aren't going to get anyway from it, but we can learn to manage it better. We can't always assume the world is out to get us, and that people are trying to hurt us. And that is most true for our partners.
So to end...in complete cheese fest (but from my heart)...What God has joined together let no man put asunder.

Another Ella Quote

Coming outside while I was mowing...

"Good job lawning the yard, mama."

I guess because I call it a lawn mower, she prefers to call it lawner, rather than a mower.

QOTD

Ella is so excited about show and tell at school. She didn't exactly understand the concept. I think her excitement more stems from listening to Wyeth be excited about it for the last two years.

"Mama, I going to Ho and Tel!"

I didn't get it, I am thinking who is taking her to a hotel? But then she mentioned WHAT she is taking to "Ho and Tell" and it clicked.

It was a coloring/workbook.

*giggle*

Flu Shots....

It's that time of year again. I go rounds with our pediatrician. She is a firm believer with all things standardized (including flu shots), I am not.
I have received one flu shot in my life and it was many years ago. I wasn't crazy about getting that one and of course ended up with the flu days other. It's been said over and over you can not get the flu from the flu shot, but I ain't buyin' it.
The statistics I have heard about say your risks are only reduced by about 35-40% because ultimately it is a guessing game, as to which strains are effect the most people.
When I was pregnant with Ella the doctor didn't want me to receive a flu shot, and yet I just read pregnant SHOULD be vaccinated, because they pass that protection onto the unborn.
All three of my kiddlets received flu shots last year and all three ended up with the flu at some point during the winter. When I pointed this out to our doctor, she rebutted with, "But they didn't die, and that is was we are protecting against."
Mr. Work gets a flu shot EVERY fall and is a firm believer in them. So he sides with the doctor. The ads for flu shots are all over the media and billboards here in Montana. So who is really benefiting from the sale of flu shots. Our county health department in even offering a "drive-thru" clinic, where you don't even have to get out of your car. For $25 you drive by roll down your window and pull up your sleeve.
Maybe I was partake in a swine-flu clinic for my toddlers?
What to do, what to do...

QOTD

Fara has taken to calling herself "me".

Sees a picture of herself...."That is me." What is your name? "Me!"

Eesh

I did something icky. I felt odd doing it, I knew I was not being true to myself and I did it anyway.
I am not sure this can even be thought of as a learning opportunity when I knew it was wrong to begin with.
*sigh*

Things that make me who I am...

I have struggled with my personality and role of mother not entirely meshing. Rabbi Schumley points out that we should always rise above our emotions to be a better parent. We are responsible for getting it right and setting an example all the time, in every situation.
Well, our house is seriously shy of hitting anything remotely close to those goals. I am who I am first and my parenting role fits into that. I run too hot, I get too mad, I say things I don't mean. And does this make me a bad mom? I don't really think so. Instead of being paralysed by the fear of bad parenting, I am going to take it as a parenting opportunity. When I get too mad, or say ugly things, I am left with an example for my children that I make mistakes, and that doesn't mean I don't love them. I am working at loving myself more too. We talk a lot about how we feel. And when mama yells the children are left "feeling". It's my responsibltiy to discuss with them how to feel better. This person I call myself hasn't changed much since my earliest memory. I am overly black and white. Parenting is not.
I am doing the best I can. I feel like I am a pretty good mom. I am not so prideful to think I am not making huge mistakes, or that I couldn't use some improvements.
So in there lies the law of attraction. I am a good mom, I WANT to be the best my children could ask for.