Ramblings...

Life has been marching on. The kids are bigger and into more stuff, I seem to maintain a constant level of business without ever getting crazy amount accomplished. Mr. Workin' is stressed, that seems to also be a constant. Life never seems to get less complicated, that's for sure. If I am honest, I would say I struggle to appreciate this station in life. Marriage is tough with a houseful of little people, and the house full of little people make me crazy. So, that being said, I depend largely on my volunteerism and friends to help me sustain a feeling of worth. Ugh, as I read back over that last part it sounds sad. I don't want to sounds sad. I am not, I really just think it's the station I am in. I love, love, love my life. I love being able to give myself to my kids and their school. It's just that I am a lot of things to a lot of people and it's feels like too much sometimes. The shitty part of that… I’m not parenting to the best of my ability. I just was to get by. I want them to learn the hard lessons in life without sucking me dry emotionally. Life is life. I think I need to shift into a more gratitude centric way of thinking and I can shift what I am calling in.