I can be a horrible mother. Tonight I lost my temper and it was so gross, all I can do is cry. I DID apologize to the girls and make sure they know that I love them, and that mommy makes mistakes...but still it doesn't take the icky feeling in my heart away.
I read a thing in college that rings in my head on nights like these. "Keep your temper, nobody else wants it." Or deserves it, really.
I find myself berating these tiny little people. Nobody wants to go to bed hurt, angry and feeling bad about themselves. Even if things go a little rough I have no right to freak out quite the way I do.
I know that sitting here beating myself up isn't the answer either. I will pray for grace God and forgiveness from them and myself...and tomorrow will be my chance to do it better.
I just really want to be giving these little loves the best. This little "mommyhood" gig is soooooooo overwhelming sometimes. And I have bitten off a HUGE bite. I can do it, and I WILL do it well, because I will continue to want the best for my babies.
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