Goals...

We have changed so much since I was last actively posting here. The baby isn't a baby anymore and Wy is a little man-child. We are blessed with strong healthy babes and just keep growing and changing. We took a week long spring Break to Arizona in late March. The kids did really well on the plane and aside from some moments of entitlement that nearly brought me to my knees, we had a wonderful time. I know I am raising these people different than I was raised, but I struggle from time to time with them not understanding how lucky they are. Is there a way for them to appreciate that it is a gift to be able to travel by airplane and go and stay away from home in a resort for a week? I mean I know there are ways, but the teaching moments aren't apparent to me until I am saying icky things about not EVEYONE being able to do these things. I don't want them to feel lucky as the sake of someone else. I also don't want monster melts downs about not getting this or that. Being a mom in the moment and finding teaching opportunities in everyday moments without losing my cool will forever be one of my biggest goals. I pray about it all the time! Peace and grace, peace and grace. What are some of your parenting goals with your growing family?

Healthful Changes...

Will I ever get it right? I think it is a matter of a total change of thinking and those don't come easily. Life is full of choices and I fall into the habit of feeling like a deserve awards for having to deal with unpleasant situations or treats to help soothe the hurts of everyday life. It's been a life-long (or at least throughout adulthood) choice I make to cope. It isn't working. I am not a well-balanced human based on these choices. I am heavy, and by heavy I mean freaking fat. I have stood at this juncture more than once in the past and nothing has worked. I am still making the same choices and still feeling poorly about myself. It's time to understand that patience and discipline are the only way to effect change in the ways that I need to. Ugh! But here are the promises I am going to make for myself... * I am not going to be disparaging to myself about the length of time it takes. * I am not going to reward myself with food or things! I am going to just be proud of ME! * I am not going to make these choices I am making the center of conversations. * When I fall down, I am going to get back up and try harder. I embark on this journey with the knowledge that I will be happier in the long run.

Chapters

Indications that we are moving out of the baby phase are happening left and right. The little guy and I ended our 20 month nursing relationship last week. It has been bittersweet. I know Mac isn't a baby anymore, but we both ready enjoyed nursing. When I start gushing about how special breastfeeding has been to me, I never mean sound insensitive to the mamas that choose not to, or for those it didn't work out for one reason or another. I know it's a deeply personal decision you make as a mama. Mr. Workin' and I headed out of town for our 11th wedding anniversary and it seemed like as good of time as any to wean. We weren't nursing a bunch, just at bedtime and naptime and if something was really upsetting like an injury or shots. It was an interesting choice on my part to forget my hand pump when we headed out of town. Apparently I was nursing more than I thought, because I woke up the first morning away and wanted to cry! I was painfully engorged and Mr. Workin' was opposed to "helping me out". I popped some Advil and put on a bra, which helped a little. I know there are herbs you can take that are supposed to help, I am not sure why I didn't look into that at the time. It was like I was OK with not nursing because I was away from the baby, but not OK to actively try to stop milk production. It has been an emotional road it some ways. There are times when the thought of caring for a baby makes me completely overwhelmed. I know I don't want another child, but I am not sure I will ever be done wanting another baby. Mr. Workin' took matters into his own hands and had a "family planning procedure" of his own. So that solves that! We are ready to step into the next chapter...a busy house full of kiddos going in four different directions.

Healthy

Individual Steel Cut Oat Cups [Pre-soaked, No Sugar]

We have been making some changes around here! Mr. Workin' has requested oatmeal every morning, and while I love the healthful benefits of steel cut oats, they take forever to cook.  This recipe looks good, and I can cook, just once a week. I plan to make 12...that's one a morning for Mr. Workin' and a couple each for the kiddos on oatmeal morning.

Season of Field Trips

This post really should be accompanied by pictures. However that would require a level of organization that I only dream about these days. With the three older kids in school, we have had many adventures this spring. We opened with a Kindergarten trip to the Montana Fish and Parks and Giant Springs Fish Hatchery. Apparently, Ella even tried on a bear skin. Mac, Fara, and I only joined for the hatchery portion. Do you have any idea how any times a five year old will comment on the smell of their surroundings? Let me tell ya! And I must admit the hatchery reeked. Next up, Ella, Mac, Fara and I joined Wyeth's class on a trip to Mrs. Henning's farm. Again, seven year olds will do quite a bit of commenting on the conditions. It also smelled to high heaven. Mrs. Henning showed us how to care for a horse but, brushing and saddling it. She also mounted the beast. It's difficult to make that look easy if you aren't in pretty good shape. There was giggling by some of the kiddos. Next we got to meet the pigs. Babe, the boar, weighs in at 1000 lbs. That is a lot of pig. We also met four piglets that were so cute. The first graders got a chance to offer the pigs a snack of donuts or cantaloupe rinds. My non-pork eating friend was horrified I would eat an animal that eats glazed donuts. I say she doesn't know what she is missing. Mr. Workin’ stepped in and attended the next 1st grade field trip to the Dinosaur museum in Bynum. I am so relieved he did too. I wasn’t excited to figure out what to do with the other three children. Bynum is a hour and a half away. Mr. Workin’ seemed to enjoy the experience. Maybe he can take it with all the other children as well. And lastly, Mac and I walked to the Fire Station with Fara and her class. It was short and sweet. The fire fighters where great with the kiddos. They got all suited up and reminded the students they should crawl on the floor and say, “I am here” when in a fire. Also not to be afraid! I love having so many children and so many fun opportunities with them. I also love being able to not have a job, so I am able to join the fun.

Mac

I haven't written much about Mac at all. As it turns out four kids is a lot, and I have fallen out of the habit of blogging with the management of all these little people. Mac has been the easiest baby. Either I figured out what I am doing, boys truly are easier, or (like I most suspect) God had a serious talk with him about how strung out this mama Mac has chosen really is. No matter the case, I can count on one hand the times he as cried and I didn't know immediately why because I was late with a necessity, like a fresh diaper, or meal. He has been a champion nurser and that keeps us crazy close. I have always by far been his favorite person. I have known all along he is the baby and my last chance at parenting an infant, so I have created a bit of a monster in some regards. He nurses on demand 24 hours a day. AND he sleeps with me. Two naps a day, and through the night, all depend on me being right there to nurse if Mac should stir. But he is a happy, friendly little guy that loves to explore and let even strangers hold him. He thinks he is a friend of all that attend Holy Spirit Catholic School and enjoys free rein of the ground floor when we are there. He knows that you can find a ball in the gym teacher’s office, a cookie in the kitchen, and a snuggle from the front office. His light shines bright. I hope you can all meet him someday.

Giving my power away...

This has become something I am pretty good at in my adult life. I feel like I let people dictated way too much. Mr. Workin' can wreck me with a look. The moms at school, the kiddos, and my family can also say next to nothing and it causes me to unravel. I ALLOW this to happen by not believing in myself enough. If I am questioned by my spouse it cuts me. Are there things you tell yourself that help you ward off these hurts? How do you make the voice in your head be the loudest one you hear?